I know I need to take the time and start writing my blog again, it has always been a great release for me. I just feel so stretched out. I am depressed but I am not. Have you ever had those times when you are on a roller coaster ride ,,one min your happy, the next I want to cry and then a few mins later I want to call everyone who has pissed me off and tell them soo.. *deep breath* I am just on this huge roller coaster ride and I want to get off at the next stop please. Last week we had a great ritual and everyone came over and I had such a great time,, I drank a bit too much but man I needed to just let go and have some fun.. Everyone seemed to have a good time.

School has been going pretty good, I am finally getting the fractions *smiling oh so proud* The days have been going so fast. Tomorrow I was suppost to go take my GED test ( well every subject but math) but we just don't have the money. It is $19 per subject and $95 all together. This christmas is going to be a tight one,, we are just getting by,, barely. I know so many people are worse off than me and I wish I could help them all. I just trying to be thankful for what we have,, right now we have a roof over our head and food on our table. I am really trying not to stress too much.

I feel so tired too,, like I just want to sleep all the time,, depression, I guess. This has been a hard year. So much stuff has happened. I need to get a job but I don't want Dylan in daycare, I thought about maybe trying to find a child to watch so I can still stay home and be here when the kids get home.. I dunno I guess I will have to wait and see what Goddess has in store for me...

well I am all over the place in writing this thing, so I am going to end it here...

Brightest Blessings to you all :)

Well hmmm where to start. My body feels like complete shit, I have a chest cold. But my mind is in such a wonderful spot! I went through a dark little time but now it was like I was re born, I am so refreshed and prepared to take on the world! I started school this week. I dropped out in 9Th grade and I am now 32. I kept always saying I am going to go back to school blah blah blah but I always found a reason not too, kids, I need to work, I'm not smart enough, etc. Well Dylan started pre k and Jord is in the 8th so it was now time. Yes we could use the money if I worked but I think this is just so much more important. I have always been ashamed that I never finished school. It was embarrassing to tell people I dropped out. Plus when I tell my 13 year old how important school really is, she would always throw back at me, well mom you never finished. Yes she was right and it killed me. So Monday and Tuesday I went to dekalb tech and did all the testing.  I was pretty damn nervous cause I have always struggled in school. Math being the worst, I almost talked myself out of going. So I go there and there was alot of people, at least I wasn't the oldest, there were 2 ladies in their 60's and that made me say listen if they can do it so can you. I had to give myself alittle pep talk. I noticed when they were handing out all the books I noticed some of us had the same and others were different colors,, so I started to panic thinking I am stupid and have the stupid person booklet (yes I know it was stupid) So I get my testing done, we take a break and 1 of the teachers says if I call your name come with me, she called me and about 10 others, so once again, I am think great I am going to the stupid people group. We get into the other room and leave the rest of the class. She says I want to congratulate you all because you are ready to take the GED in 1 subject or more and you don't need the classes, you are already at the level. Well I picked up myself off the floor, I was so excited and shocked and I had so many emotions running through me. So I had gotten a 12.9 in everything (which is the highest you can get) but math, I am at a 5.7 in math, which sucks but better than I thought. Oct. 8 I start back with taking just math classes and then I will be ready to go. I am so stoked!

For Mabon we went to the corn maze in Covington, I had alot of fun, it was really hot that day. We went through the maze (I kinda cheated teehee) I somehow ended up going backwards, I found #9 first and went back through to #1 and ended up coming back out of the entrance but then I cut through and ran out the exit lol It was fun. The kids played for a bit, then we took a hayride to the bon fire and they had this little private area for our group. It was more like a camp fire rather than a bon fire but it did it's job, they gave us free marshmallows and we roasted them and chatted. then a hour later we took a hay ride back to our cars. I am glad we did it.

OK I am starting to write a freakin book lol Wooohoo I am so excited for Pagan Pride Day Oct. 8th!!!!  It is just gonna be me and the kids,, Ryan has football that day. I can't wait to meet with everyone

Well yesterday I was feeling fantasic! I had the windows open, the breeze running through my house, my music cranked and there I was dancing all over the house. I felt like I was walking on air. I felt so great, reconnected back with goddess, I went and sat outside just smiling at my beautiful backyard. I love this time of year not too hot not to cold, the smell of change in the air..ahhh. What a great day... I have been feeling really yucky lately, Is it cause the wheel is turning and I am preparing for the dark half? I dunno but I felt a bit of depression and some saddness. I woke up feeling a bit bitchy today, no real reason, I just wanted to scream at poeple. I have also noticed I grew a set of balls. I usually let people walk all over me, if someone disagrees I don't state what I think, but I have been noticing I have been a bit more,,mmmm what is the word, saying what I think and damn it feels good. I was alway so worried people are't going to like me, but I have come to conclusion of oh well, Either they will like me or not. I will get over it. I feel like I am standing on MY own two feet and it feels great! Yeehaaa Tomorrow we are going to a local corn maze for a little Mabon ritual picnic and I can not wait. I have made up a herb mixture of mabon herbs for an offering. I can't wait to be outside in the corn breathing the air and feeling earth under my feet. I am a new person. I just have to make sure I stay positive :) Brightest Blessings to you all

Merry Meet Brothers and Sisters,
My name is Tara and I am part owner of Stone Crest
Border Pagans. We meet at Stone crest Mall in Lithonia
every Wednesday night and we are looking for people
who want to come and talk with us once a month on
different subjects (Sabbats, herbs, covens, different
pantheons, divination, totem animals, Native studies,
etc) I can not offer payment but I can offer a drink
and maybe a snack from the cafe or something along
those lines. We are a group of about 10 and all follow
different paths, we are looking to learn new things.
If you think you would be interested or know someone
that maybe interested please pass this along. You can
email me at tae_6@yahoo. com
Thank you all for your time
Brightest Blessings

Tara

I don't know where my head is at, I feel so lost. Numb almost. I have always been able to feel what others were feeling and I have lost that ability. I feel drained. There has been alot of stress going on, my mom leaving, a unexpected death in the family. I cried till I couldn't cry anymore and now I am just numb. I don't feel anything, not sad not happy. I am goign to give the house a full cleasning and hopefully that will help. Ryan feels it as well. I feel like if I go and talk ith my friends then I will drain them with all my negative energy. I am feeling lonely. Blah